Hi Folks,

Recently, I received an email from Claude Fields, one of the graduates from the Natural Passages program. It involves his courage to live from a centered, four chambered heart. I include it as a reminder that we co-create the world through our actions and inactions. I was pleased to see that Claude was practicing the four principles of male maturity and leadership:

1. Show up and be present without preconceived notions, while having the Ability to Take Action and Enforce Boundaries.

2. The Ability to Assess, Analyze and Contain, while saying what is so when it is so, without blame or judgment.

3. The Ability to Connect and Feel, while paying attention to what has heart and meaning.

4. The Ability to Initiate, Support and Create Order while being open to outcome.

His email reminded me that we have a responsibility to create "right relations with other people" by being fully present to ourselves. Hence, directly following Claude's email are some thoughts about character, integrity, and right relations.

I hope you enjoy the newsletter. If so, please forward to others that might benefit or enjoy it. Remind them that it is free and they can sign up for it to be mailed to them directly.

Choosing to Live Consciously
Herb Stevenson

An Open Email
from Claude Fields

To almost all of my E-Mail recipients,

We all receive E-Mails about people, especially politicians. Many times these are not jokes but malicious falsehoods that must be generated in hell. We as E-Mail users have a responsibility not to pass these malicious E-Mails on as they are slanderous and harmful to people. Don't believe everything you read or the pictures you see! Any picture can be doctored up and false statements are broadcasted or written daily, filled with half-truths and lies to fit someone's agenda. So, I wanted to share with you two real-life situations I myself encountered in the past few weeks.

I had met a man that lives in my town a few times this past year. In talking with him I found out that he listens to Shawn Hannity. He stated that our President would not allow any foreign assistance in regards to the BP Oil fire. I explained that his statement was false, as we had fire equipment and personnel from Norway on their way to the platform when it toppled into the ocean. He explained we would never see eye-to-eye. I shook his hand and explained that's OK, it is a wonderful country we live in where we both can disagree but still be friends. This past Friday I saw this same man once again and he shunned me.

Another long-time friend of mine sent me a false E-Mail yesterday about our President. I checked out the story on www.Snopes.com and found it to be false. I replied to this man with the proof and explained we all have a responsibility not to spread falsehoods.

Sometimes we have to take a risk and stand up for what we believe in. I went to bed last night wondering if my response would cause me to lose a friend. I woke up this morning and I was hesitant to see if he responded. He had, and I thought to myself, do I open this first and start my day on a bummer, or take the chance and open it. This man is one I have a lot of respect for, a good father, husband and friend. A man I did not want to lose as a friend. His reply was an apology, and he would follow up by sending a reply to the source he received it from. This is one man that I have even more respect for today. A true friend that we can agree or disagree with but still respect each other for our beliefs. A friend that I am thankful for.

On the other hand the first man I told you about is a man that our world has too many of. A man that I do not need to call my friend. When I see him again I will try to open the door again but won't lose sleep over his lack of friendship. My true friend on the other hand, is a friend to cherish and be thankful for, and the best part is, I have more than one friend like him.

So, please be responsible with your E-Mails. You can check them out on www.Snopes.com. Stick to your beliefs. Know that we can agree to disagree, and thanks for being my friend.

Claude

"Say what is so when it is so, without blame or judgment", words given to me by Herb Stevenson, one of my friends.

Some Thoughts on Character and Integrity

Character

Character is more than talk. Talent is a gift—Character is a Choice. Character Brings Lasting Success with People. People Cannot Rise above the Limitations of their Character. A man without character is more like an echo than a man with a voice.

If you want your life to have meaning, then you must choose some principles to live by.

"To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice." —Confucius

Trust—Walking the Talk

Have you ever known someone who states one ethical position and lives something different? How credible is that person? How does that impact his or her life and work?

Decisions

Decisions, not conditions, determine your ethics. Wrong decisions leave scars. The more people involved, the greater the pressure for conformity.

Compromises

Some pressures that occur on a daily basis that can compromise your values are:

» Making rash decisions.
» Compromising the truth.
» Taking shortcuts.
» Not keeping commitments to others; self.
» Bowing to others' opinions.
» Knowingly (at some level) making promises that can't be kept.

Which is more difficult for you: making an ethical decision alone when no one will find out, or making an ethical decision when other people are pressuring you to conform to a lower standard than your own? Explain.

Learning or not

When you are under extreme pressure, how do you respond? Is your natural reaction to relieve the pressure at all costs? Or do you try to grow and learn from the experience? Give an example?

Discipline

"The disciplined person is the person who can do what needs to be done when it needs to be done."
—Richard Foster.

Discipline learned in one area of life can help to build character in other areas. Describe experiences in your life through which you learned to delay gratification and develop discipline. How can those experiences and the lessons you've learned help you become more disciplined in an area where you currently need improvement? Explain. How will you make the transfer?

Responsibility

You can't capitalize on an opportunity you receive on the outside until you've done the groundwork on the inside.

A person of responsibility can trust himself to choose the right thing over the easy thing. He develops personal discipline, knows his weaknesses, aligns his priorities with his values, admits errors and wrong-doing quickly, apologizes, and asks forgiveness, places high value on people.

Accountability

How do you hold yourself accountable in your work, your family, your life?

Right Relations

The road to right relations with other people is as follows:

If you have a problem with me, come to me. I will do the same for you.
If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. I will do the same for you.
If someone has a problem with me and is hesitant to come to me, come with them. I will do the same for you.
Be careful how you interpret me. I will be careful how I interpret you.
If you tell me something in confidence, I will not tell another person unless it's harmful to you or another person not to. I expect the same from you.
If it's about someone else, don't tell me unless it is important to their health and well-being.
I do not manipulate others. I expect the same from you.
When in doubt, just say it. I will do the same.

Upcoming Programs

The Natural Passages Program

Natural Passages is a one year male initiation program. It is a program that enables the core integrity of the man to surface. It is designed to awaken, develop, and nurture the essence and fullness of being a man in today's world. Our focus is developmental. We seek to invoke the unfoldment of mature masculine energies. Our goal is specific. We seek to assist each man to find his place in the world. Our hope is honorable. We seek to fill the void of mature men that can stay within the center of whom they are regardless of circumstances. Our dream is selfish. In helping you to find your place in the world, we envision your helping others to do the same. Therein, we can build community and make a difference in the world.

Find out more...

In This Issue An Open Letter From Claud Fields Some Thoughts on Character & Integrity Upcoming Programs Natural Passages Program Read about all of our workshops, retreats and resources on our website. Audio Interviews Herb talks about the Four Principals of Leadership. Are these newsletters meeting your needs? Take a quick survey and help me improve my newsletters. Don't miss another Issue! Join our Mailing List.		SEPTEMBER 2010 Hi Folks, Recently, I received an email from Claude Fields, one of the graduates from the Natural Passages program. It involves his courage to live from a centered, four chambered heart. I include it as a reminder that we co-create the world through our actions and inactions. I was pleased to see that Claude was practicing the four principles of male maturity and leadership: 1. Show up and be present without preconceived notions, while having the Ability to Take Action and Enforce Boundaries. 2. The Ability to Assess, Analyze and Contain, while saying what is so when it is so, without blame or judgment. 3. The Ability to Connect and Feel, while paying attention to what has heart and meaning. 4. The Ability to Initiate, Support and Create Order while being open to outcome. His email reminded me that we have a responsibility to create "right relations with other people" by being fully present to ourselves. Hence, directly following Claude's email are some thoughts about character, integrity, and right relations. I hope you enjoy the newsletter. If so, please forward to others that might benefit or enjoy it. Remind them that it is free and they can sign up for it to be mailed to them directly. Choosing to Live Consciously Herb Stevenson An Open Email from Claude Fields To almost all of my E-Mail recipients, We all receive E-Mails about people, especially politicians. Many times these are not jokes but malicious falsehoods that must be generated in hell. We as E-Mail users have a responsibility not to pass these malicious E-Mails on as they are slanderous and harmful to people. Don't believe everything you read or the pictures you see! Any picture can be doctored up and false statements are broadcasted or written daily, filled with half-truths and lies to fit someone's agenda. So, I wanted to share with you two real-life situations I myself encountered in the past few weeks. I had met a man that lives in my town a few times this past year. In talking with him I found out that he listens to Shawn Hannity. He stated that our President would not allow any foreign assistance in regards to the BP Oil fire. I explained that his statement was false, as we had fire equipment and personnel from Norway on their way to the platform when it toppled into the ocean. He explained we would never see eye-to-eye. I shook his hand and explained that's OK, it is a wonderful country we live in where we both can disagree but still be friends. This past Friday I saw this same man once again and he shunned me. Another long-time friend of mine sent me a false E-Mail yesterday about our President. I checked out the story on www.Snopes.com and found it to be false. I replied to this man with the proof and explained we all have a responsibility not to spread falsehoods. Sometimes we have to take a risk and stand up for what we believe in. I went to bed last night wondering if my response would cause me to lose a friend. I woke up this morning and I was hesitant to see if he responded. He had, and I thought to myself, do I open this first and start my day on a bummer, or take the chance and open it. This man is one I have a lot of respect for, a good father, husband and friend. A man I did not want to lose as a friend. His reply was an apology, and he would follow up by sending a reply to the source he received it from. This is one man that I have even more respect for today. A true friend that we can agree or disagree with but still respect each other for our beliefs. A friend that I am thankful for. On the other hand the first man I told you about is a man that our world has too many of. A man that I do not need to call my friend. When I see him again I will try to open the door again but won't lose sleep over his lack of friendship. My true friend on the other hand, is a friend to cherish and be thankful for, and the best part is, I have more than one friend like him. So, please be responsible with your E-Mails. You can check them out on www.Snopes.com. Stick to your beliefs. Know that we can agree to disagree, and thanks for being my friend. *Claude* "Say what is so when it is so, without blame or judgment", words given to me by Herb Stevenson, one of my friends. Some Thoughts on Character and Integrity Character Character is more than talk. Talent is a gift—Character is a Choice. Character Brings Lasting Success with People. People Cannot Rise above the Limitations of their Character. A man without character is more like an echo than a man with a voice. If you want your life to have meaning, then you must choose some principles to live by. "To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice." —Confucius Trust—Walking the Talk Have you ever known someone who states one ethical position and lives something different? How credible is that person? How does that impact his or her life and work? Decisions Decisions, not conditions, determine your ethics. Wrong decisions leave scars. The more people involved, the greater the pressure for conformity. Compromises Some pressures that occur on a daily basis that can compromise your values are: » Making rash decisions. » Compromising the truth. » Taking shortcuts. » Not keeping commitments to others; self. » Bowing to others' opinions. » Knowingly (at some level) making promises that can't be kept. Which is more difficult for you: making an ethical decision alone when no one will find out, or making an ethical decision when other people are pressuring you to conform to a lower standard than your own? Explain. Learning or not When you are under extreme pressure, how do you respond? Is your natural reaction to relieve the pressure at all costs? Or do you try to grow and learn from the experience? Give an example? Discipline "The disciplined person is the person who can do what needs to be done when it needs to be done." —Richard Foster. Discipline learned in one area of life can help to build character in other areas. Describe experiences in your life through which you learned to delay gratification and develop discipline. How can those experiences and the lessons you've learned help you become more disciplined in an area where you currently need improvement? Explain. How will you make the transfer? Responsibility You can't capitalize on an opportunity you receive on the outside until you've done the groundwork on the inside. A person of responsibility can trust himself to choose the right thing over the easy thing. He develops personal discipline, knows his weaknesses, aligns his priorities with his values, admits errors and wrong-doing quickly, apologizes, and asks forgiveness, places high value on people. Accountability How do you hold yourself accountable in your work, your family, your life? Right Relations The road to right relations with other people is as follows: If you have a problem with me, come to me. I will do the same for you. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. I will do the same for you. If someone has a problem with me and is hesitant to come to me, come with them. I will do the same for you. Be careful how you interpret me. I will be careful how I interpret you. If you tell me something in confidence, I will not tell another person unless it's harmful to you or another person not to. I expect the same from you. If it's about someone else, don't tell me unless it is important to their health and well-being. I do not manipulate others. I expect the same from you. When in doubt, just say it. I will do the same. Upcoming Programs The Natural Passages Program Natural Passages is a one year male initiation program. It is a program that enables the core integrity of the man to surface. It is designed to awaken, develop, and nurture the essence and fullness of being a man in today's world. Our focus is developmental. We seek to invoke the unfoldment of mature masculine energies. Our goal is specific. We seek to assist each man to find his place in the world. Our hope is honorable. We seek to fill the void of mature men that can stay within the center of whom they are regardless of circumstances. Our dream is selfish. In helping you to find your place in the world, we envision your helping others to do the same. Therein, we can build community and make a difference in the world. Find out more...
Natural Passages 9796 Cedar Road, Novelty, Ohio 44072-9747 440.338.1705 \| herb@natural-passages.com

An Open Email from Claude Fields